Minnesota Annual Conference: White Woman Weeping

"White women tears are especially potent and extra salty because they are attached to the symbol of femininity. These tears are pouring out from the eyes of the one chosen to be the prototype of womanhood; the woman who has been painted as helpless against the whims of the world. The one who gets the most protection in a world that does a shitty job overall of cherishing women. The mothers, sisters, daughters and aunties of the world’s biggest bullies (white men). But the truth is, white women have been bullies themselves because they’ve been the shadows behind the white men who get all the blame. They have been doing much of the subjugation in white supremacy without any of the accountability, because: innocent white woman is a caricature many have chosen to embrace, even subconsciously. Why? Because it shields them from consequences. We talk about toxic masculinity but there is toxicity in wielding femininity in this way.

The Damsel in Distress reveling is real. Alice drowned people in Wonderland with her tears. Helen of Troy started a war. Miss Millie ain’t let Miss Sophia go home for Christmas." 

Luvvie Ajayi, "About the Weary Weaponizing of White Women Tears"

your fragile tears and trembling voice
let me know how deeply you are hurt
because you feel silenced,
your values drowned
in the jubilance of those sinners
you claim to love
as you hate their sin,
because you did not win
this time

i can tell it hurts that others have placed
the “bigot” label
on you
i know the burden of bearing a label
that is not my name

still searching for your scars
where your ancestors were whipped into silence
for daring to desire freedom,
for voicing defiance,
i see no scars,
no strength in tears
weeped from eyes that did not watch your children
snatched away
never to be seen again

shed tears for words unspoken
not your fragile pain
shed tears for bloodlines broken
not your loss of gain

i hear the fear in your shimmering eyes
as you fail to realize
minority is not the same as
marginalized

too many have died
'cause a white woman cried
I do not sympathize

"Perhaps the only thing deadlier to a Black person’s soul and well-being than actually being killed or incarcerated are the tears of a white woman—among other weaponized emotions. White women’s emotions, particularly their tears, have taken countless lives over the generations. These tears and emotions are weapons of mass destruction and we rarely allow ourselves the chance to have an honest conversation about it. White women tears kill the soul, they make you doubt yourself and your right to exist, they render you voiceless because an emotionally distraught white woman becomes the priority in whatever space she is in. It doesn’t matter if you are right—once her tears are activated, you cease to exist. And few things bring other white people— especially men, and sometimes no matter how misogynist they are—to a white woman’s defense than her declaring that she is feeling hurt, sad or discomfited by the words, arguments or actions (no matter how reasonable or nonviolent) of a Black person. Jobs have been lost, friendships ended and sometimes those tears can send the wrong person to jail. White woman tears are not simply a release, they are a tool."

"Weapon of lass destruction: The tears of a white woman" by Shay